As you know, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences awards the Emmys, and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences bestows the Academy Awards. Less well known is the Academy of Vintage Christmas Ornament Arts and Sciences, which also has an annual awards ceremony. It falls every year on the Monday before Christmas, unless that is inconvenient for the founder of the Academy.
Fortunately, the traditional date worked out well for the Academy this year, and it is time to announce this year's award winners. As always, the judge had a very difficult time choosing just one ornament in each category. The judge wishes to remind all vintage ornaments (except the really ugly ones) that each of them is a winner.
Without further ado, let's meet this year's honorees:
Outstanding Performance by an Unsilvered Ornament
The red glass ball featuring a handpainted church and glittering snow. (From the judge's notes: "Easily could have been a winner in the Best Church Scene category or the Best Use of Glitter to Represent Snow category")
Best Figural Ornament
The heart. The judge could not overlook the heart's remarkable rendition not only of a flower ...
but a butterfly on the opposite side. ("A tour de force!" the judge exclaimed.)
Best Use of Glitter to Represent Snow
The medium-sized Shiny Brite snowball in aqua. Citing "a remarkable combination of simplicity, charm and sophistication," the judge notes an increased interest in acquiring more snowballs in every size and color.
The big pink handpainted Santa ornament from Poland. The Academy chose to overlook this ornament's broken pike and replacement cap, citing its "unmatched ability to bring cheer every year."
The tiny red ornament with a handpainted lily of the valley from Poland. The judge was feeling partial to tiny red ornaments when the awards were being handed out.
Gold ornament with mushroom, made in Japan. "Rarely has the Academy seen such a masterful combination of glass balls, glitter, a tiny chenille stem and a mushroom." (From the judge's notes.)
Large West German ball with church. The judge always has been partial to this ornament, even if it's not the oldest or deepest indent.
The sparkling glass swan. Because it's impossible to be unhappy while considering the words "sparkling glass swan."
Best Merry Christmas ornament
The most competitive of all of the categories (another ornament's photograph was taken before the judge changed her mind!) the blue Shiny Brite ornament eked out a victory. The judge likes the shade of blue and the old-fashioned depiction of a Christmas tree yard complete with strings of oversized light bulbs. Also note the use of the phrase "A Merry Christmas," rather than the more common "Merry Christmas." An English major in college, the judge likes to see articles such as a, an and the used in a festive yet appropriate manner.
The Academy hopes you have enjoyed this year's awards ceremony and hopes you will join in congratulating the winners. Just a reminder: The decision of the judge is not final. She could change her mind any moment.