You will look at this tree, and you will like it. Or else.

Almost every year since I've had a substantial number of elves, I've dedicated a small tree to them.There's just one problem. Most elves don't want to be ornaments. This one does. See that little chenille loop at the front of his hat? That's for an ornament hanger. He's a good elf.

This elf doesn't want to be an ornament. He has a base rather than a hanger. He wants to hang out in forests and chop down evergreens. To him I say: Too bad. We all have stuff we'd rather not do during the holidays. If all you have to do is hang out with sparkly tinsel and a bunch of other elves for a month, count your blessings.

The naughty elves were not cooperative, however. I wrapped pipe cleaners around their base and wired them to the tree, and they would spin upside down. (I swear I could hear faint elfin laughter when this occurred.) Compounding the problem was the fact that the tree itself is a vintage one whose branches are weakening. The lower branches were drooping, even without the presence of a recalcitrant elf. I could get around the spinning elf problem by tightening the pipe cleaner (insert elfin squeals of protest here), but I could not get around the drooping branch problem. I got the tree decorated, and it looked ridiculous.

That's when I had a genius idea: Why not cut off the bottom of the tree? I would get rid of the lower tier of branches, which were the most problematic, and I would give the entire tree a better center of gravity.

(Insert various cries here: Noooo! We'll be good, we promise! Why are you going out to the garage? Not the reciprocating saw! Noooooooooo!)

(Insert here the sound of a buzz saw, flying elves landing with gentle thuds and the tinkling sound that glass balls make when they shatter.)

And here is where we realize that there is no way to avoid really stupid mistakes. Because if I'd thought this through, I'd never have decided it was a good idea to saw off the bottom eight inches of a tree after it was decorated. It was a spur of the moment idea, made in a moment of desperation. Those of us who are lucky confine our screw-ups to Christmas decorations.

And, in the end, my plan worked. I'm sure the elf who is currently being reattached to his pinecone body has a different perspective. I'm certain there might have been an easier way to achieve my goal. But it all worked out. Isn't it a pretty tree? You might want to agree with me. Because I am not someone to be trifled with when things don't go my way.

Just ask the elves. 

 

 

Comments

[Jewels]

Well I'm sure your second ax wielding elf had no problem with your decision LOL. And like Vegas - what happens in your household, stays in your household. J

[Kim Kenward]

You and I are kindred spirits today. I posted my special little pinecone elves today too. I {heart} them on your tree. Your tree is spectacular by the way.

[Linda @ A La Carte]

Oh I love your elf tree! I was putting elves in my cubbies yesterday and wishing I had more! They are calling my name this year! Cute!
hugs, Linda

[Into Vintage]

I think it was kind of you to wrap the pipe cleaners around their bodies and not their little necks. One more blessing for them to count. Everything is looking very peachy in the end.

[Martha]

The recalcitrant elves look amazingly sweet on your renovated tree. There surely are worse fates than ending up on display in the the cutest farmhouse ever.

[Michelle]

Your little elves are adorable and I love how they look on the tree! Sawing off the bottom of the tree while the ornaments are still on sounds like one of the crazy things I would do, too! haha! It turned out just lovely!

[Kate]

It is so pretty! You have a knack, how you get the end result doesn't matter! I love the elves!

[Sarah]

I am officially speechless. YOU, of all people, should have known no good could come of SAWING on a decorated tree! LOL

[Judy]

I love your little sawed off tree! I also do an elf tree and have experienced the same issues with my elves. Since my tree is not such a treasure, I simply twist some of the green around the bases. HOWEVER, as I was reading your blog, the thought of using a small needle and some silver or gold thread and making a small loop through their hats came to mind!

[Kathy]

I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT she says as she backs quietly out of this blog post.....

Seriously, it is cute as can be and I see no problem with your chosen sequence of events. The strong elves survive. It is the natural order of things. You might have asked that defiant little tree-chopper for some help, though.

[laurie magpie ethel]

Well you have officially attempted and conquered the unthinkable...sawing off the end of a decorated tree. I can imagine the screams of terror as you came at the tree covered n elves. End result looks awesome tho...and better than a straggly old tree.

[JoAnne McPHerson]

I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT!!! You don't have to make another trip out to the garage for the reciprocating saw again!

Hey, great idea and it is a wonderful tree--really!

I love the humor especially.

[Lavender Dreams]

You know I love it! I have my little pixies here, there and everywhere this year! They are into every sort of mischief on this warm balmy day in Florida! Sweet hugs!

[nanette]

Elves are naughty by nature I think. Your tree is darling. Love it. I'm getting a tinsel tree this year if it kills me.

[Hen]

Brilliant! Great tree, and elves of course, and I do enjoy the way you write. Thank you.

[Molly]

I just found your blog and I have to say.... Love. (Sigh.) Wonderful stuff.

[Lisa W.]

I like your "take the reindeer by the horns" approach to holiday decorating. Hmmmm ..... cutting off the bottom of a decorated tree ... a word comes to mind here ... Homeric ! Anyway - I love the elf tree and the action packed story behind it . Thanks for sharing Barbara !

[Kim]

Far be it for me to disagree with a woman wielding a reciprocating saw. The tree looks Adorable and I enjoyed reading about how you got those elves in line ... even the recalcitrant ones. :)

[Lynn]

I love your elf tree and so glad you got the ones not acting right under control! Thanks for showing us your cuteness!

[Renee]

B...is it safe to come out of the woods yet? Honey, I assure you I have done very similar things...only not with elves...but give me time...smiles..Renee