Work

    If you knew my family, you'd think that Labor Day might be one of our high holy days, up there with Christmas and Easter. The stories passed down through generations in my family are all about work. How my great-great-grandfather could have made a lot more money if he'd had a medical practice but chose instead to be a factory doctor, treating workers in the steel mills in Pittsburgh. How Pap-pap (my great-grandfather on another side of the family) was so young when he started working in the coal mines that the lunch box he carried scuffed the top of the snow in the winter. How my uncle survived being gored by a bull. Each side of the family, through the generations, has a story to tell about work.

Every family has a few ne'er-do-wells, and mine is no exception. They were few in number, and they all came to bad ends, at least in the stories that we heard. They were object lessons: This is what will happen to you if you end the day without aching muscles and callused hands. One of the most memorable moments of my childhood was my dad talking to me one evening, his anguish over a relative's behavior obvious even to a little girl like me. He ended the story by shaking his finger and pointing at me, not because he was mad at me, but because he wanted me to understand. Remember this, he said. We are not lazy. We are not lazy people.

    Although I never forgot his words, it took me until the end of last summer to realize something: This is why I have always hated Labor Day. Hated it so much that there were many years, sitting in the dark with my family at our town's Labor Day fireworks, that I got tearful. So much that finally a few years ago I suggested they go without me,  because it was that painful. To me, the fireworks weren't a celebration. They were the punctuation mark at the end of summer, the final Well, there it is. Another summer you've gone and wasted.

It dawned on me during my Labor Day funk last year that summer presents to me a dilemma I can't resolve. I think that summer should be filled with long, sunny days and picnics and beaches and sailboats - you know, the way normal people feel about summer.

But I don't live that way. I don't relax well. I need to be doing something, all of the time. I need projects and goals. We are not lazy people. Maybe I'd be happier if I could allow myself a little more down time, but at this point in my life, I'm not sure I'll ever know.

And what I realized last year was that I had a choice to make. I could take some time for summer fun. Or I could do what I always do. But I could not spend the summer working and then get to September and collapse with regret over all the fun, relaxing things I did not do.

On the off chance you're still reading, you get to guess why I'm ending this summer in a better frame of mind:

1. Because I took some time for fun.

2. Because I realized I'm not built for fun.

    Maybe you were kind of hoping I made time for fun. Well, I didn't. No waves lapped at my feet. I have a tan, but it's a farmer's tan, the only bronze on my arms the part my T-shirt didn't cover when I was out working in the garden.

And I am absolutely fine with that. Last night as I was walking the dog, I heard fireworks pop in the distance, and instead of that familiar stab in the heart, I thought, well, that's nice. The rain held off long enough for the fireworks.

I've spent this Labor Day weekend canning and freezing and baking, which is what I remember my mom doing on Labor Day. The sound I associate with Labor Day is not the fizzle and bang of fireworks but the ping! of pickle jar lids. My mom made enough dill pickles - the most delicious, crunchy, salty dill pickles anywhere - to put a pickle in my dad's lunch box every day, with enough left for us to eat, too. That's a lot of pickles. Not to mention tomatoes. Green beans. Peaches. Corn relish.

For once, my canning-factory kitchen looked beautiful to me. The enamelware pot of tomatoes and the old green scale and the basket of garlic weren't just supplies and ingredients, but a still life. The sight of the canner sitting on the chair in the corner with the apron made me happy.

    If our family tries to live off what I've preserved, we'll be in big trouble. At this point, we'll probably run out of food by Columbus Day, and that's only if we're willing to eat pretty much nothing but peach jam and freezer pickles. But there's a lot still growing in the garden. And there have already been a few rewards, like the little bit of jam at the bottom of the pot, more syrup than fruit, sweeter than honey. It tasted like summer.

    And for once, I'm coming up on the end of summer not with regret but gratitude.

Comments

[Mitzi Curi]

Barbara, I don't relax well either! I'm "all work and no play" most of the time. I guess I enjoy looking at the fruits of my labors, like finished projects, crafts, and home repairs/DIY's. I come from a long line of workaholics, so I suppose I didn't have much choice in the matter!

[Mary Kay Andrews]

I totally get the work ethic. I was positively gleeful at the prospect of a rainy Labor day, because it meant I could tackle projects without the guilt of not going to the pool on the last day.

[Tina]

Hurray for the realization! There is a lot of satisfaction and reward in work, as much as some people find in taking traditional summer vacations. I think I just am beginning to understand why I was so miserable while on a houseboat for a few days with my brother and his family this summer...

[HeidiAnn]

Sounds like a summer full of delicious "fruits" of your labors.
And gratitude is really such a wonderful thing, isn't it?

[Into Vintage]

As a fellow 'non-relaxer,' I do like the satisfaction that comes with doing things but then again I would occasionally like to sit through a movie without making a list in my head of what I'm going to do once the movie is over. I just consider myself 'productive.'

[Retromamaramblings.blogspot.com]

OMG....this post made me laugh out loud. When I was growing up, the worst thing my parents or grandparents could say about someone is that "they were lazy" or "wouldn't work." LOL..I understand your angst.

That last photo made my heart skip a beat!

[Renee]

Worked all day and had the house open doing it. Remembered how wonderful it was to spend time cleaning up all the things we work so hard for...right after I put my feet up to read the post. So nice to see someone is still canning. My blueberry jam is always a favorite. Smiles...Renee

[Kathy]

I never thought about it in exactly those words (I was probably too busy getting things done) but you have described me to a tee. I wish I COULD find a way to relax more but my brain is so trained to think forward on what is the next thing I need to get done that it seems like it is nearly impossible. At least I am not alone!

[Maria (Magia Mia)]

Great post. It made me smile......

I've always considered myself a relaxer........if you consider painting & DIY projects, gardening, treasure-hunting, online research and selling vintage relaxing.....:)

I think if you enjoy what you do, it's very hard to call it work, even if you work up a sweat. If it fulfills you and rewards you with a sense of accomplishment, it is relaxing.

[Hen]

Golly, I know what you mean, I do not relax well but wish I could as I spend most of my time feeling shattered but I simply can't sit still. I feel I have to achieve something each day and like you, I enjoy it really, it just takes time to come to that realisation. Your kitchen is looking beautiful.

[Lena]

I really enjoyed this post Barbara, and I agree with Maria, that if you are immersed in what you do, there is relaxation in that. Studies have proven, for instance that when we knit or crochet, or hand stitch, that our brain waves change in a way that will lower our blood pressure 10 points or more. I don't think you have to be "still" to relax, but it is important to take time within the things you do, to think your own thoughts, and to let your mind wander, I think.
My dad, who drove 18 wheeled semi trucks after the army, always relaxed most when he was working at chopping wood, clearing his property, gardening, and such things. He'd sit and watch football games, but relaxation for him was always a physical thing. Now that his health has stolen many of those activities from him, he rarely can relax, and has troubles sleeping.

I grew up in a family of mostly blue collar workers, and very hard workers, that were always busy. They for the most part came from a very poor background, and were raised on farms. Working hard, brought them "up" in the world. Our family appreciates unions a lot. I found it ironic that our country still celebrates Labor Day in a way, given the lack of blue collar jobs and the battering of unions that we've seen. Sometimes I wonder how many folks even know why the holiday was created. I don't think we'll ever be as strong a country again, without a strong middle class, built from the hard work of people like your family and mine.

I love your photos.

[S~]

I was VERY PROUD of the canned salsa that the labors of my Monday yielded!!

[lauire magpie ethel]

I am one of those people who is in constant motion/project too! (surprised?) I like things planned out. I like lists. I am not very good at impromptu events. That is just how I am hardwired.

Looks like you had a fruitful day in the kitchen - isn't a great sense of satisfaction to sit back and see what you have accomplished? Now put your feet up for a few minutes and be a teeny bit lazy.

[Vicki]

I hear ya! My grandpa built his own house (mine now) and his cottage while working full-time as a carpenter. We always say that "grandpa was still fixing his own roof at 84" Now ask the husband how he enjoys having me remind him when he is relaxing on the sofa that "rest is rust". I relax by baking...productive relaxation! Great post. I always have a to-do list!!!

[Carol @ Old Glory Cottage]

At the end of the summer I usually feel like a failure, because I didn't get every single thing done on the list that I spent all winter making. This is the first summer that I've actually sat and enjoyed my gardens. Maybe it's the new camera, I don't know. But while I'm sitting there, I do tend to get a little distracted by all of the things that I want to do next summer!

[Beth]

One of my most favorite sounds is the canning 'ping.'
I'll 2nd or 3rd what's already been said re: relaxing is how you define it. I find puttering and keeping busy around my house very relaxing. I know that the label of laziness can run very deep.
I'm glad you had a nice Labor Day holiday.

[Martha]

It's extremely hard for me to relax because I am obsessed with making stuff. At the end of each day I reflect on how much I have accomplished, and I am often disappointed. Too bad I don't feel the same way about gardening or housecleaning.

That last photo of your kitchen table with the lovely Hoosier in the background is my new favorite picture from your blog. I just want to sit right down and with some homemade iced tea and a little baked good.

[Kat]

Wow, this post hit home. It's very rare for me, too, to do something other than work- and by that I mean exactly what you wrote about. At this point in my life, I'm very happy with my life, realizing that 'fun' is not me, and becoming rather smug with my cozy kitchen and quilt covered bed, yarn in a huge basket bristling with hooks & needles and a fabulous cup of coffee from freshly ground beans. I identify with your life. Life is good! Thank you for sharing! I mean it.