Last year's winner of the "Best Indent" award, accompanied by the 2009 winner
If this year's awards ceremonies seems a little disjointed and poorly organized, I apologize. Up until very recently, I thought I had found the perfect people to present the awards - engaging, eager for publicity, apparently with nothing else to do.
I'm talking, of course, about contenders for the Republican presidential nomination.
I had invited several former and current front-runners for the nomination to present the awards, but it was clear from the first rehearsal that the ceremony would be a disaster. Mitt Romney would come out and give an award, and five minutes later he'd want to go back on stage and say he'd changed his mind. Newt Gingrich showed promise - he's so elfin-looking! - but then he wanted a seven-figure "consulting fee." Rick Perry would say there were three nominees for an award, but then ... well, I think you know what happened. Oops.
It didn't take me long to realize how unsuitable they were for the job. Any job. So when I just happened to mention that very few Iowa caucus-goers pay attention to the awards, they vanished! Just like that! Poof! Sorry to send them your way, Iowans, but the preservation of the Academy comes first. Let's bring on our first award-winner!
Outstanding Performance by an Unsilvered Ornament
Well, this is a surprise: this small red unsilvered ball with its stenciled church scene is so similar to the 2009 winner that some untrained observers thought they were one in the same. The judges were in agreement: It's not just hard to beat a snowy scene with a church steeple and a full moon. It's impossible.
Best Figural Ornament
It's looking like another big year for red. This glass clip-on mushroom looks as if it just popped up from the forest floor. A forest floor covered with glass bead garland and silver tinsel, perhaps, but a forest floor nonetheless.
(The judges are murmuring. They're talking about something they've just noticed. It looks - I can't be sure - it looks as if they might have changed their mind about one of the award winners.)
Best Santa
So that's what they were talking about! The judges had selected a different Santa as this year's award-winner, but then they noticed this one off to the side of the mushroom: an old fashioned Santa molded into a delicate glass oval. He is a beauty! (But I think the milkglass Santa is weeping. The milkglass Santa was sure this year was his year. Sorry, milkglass Santa.)
Best Indent
From the judge's notes: We hardly can overlook the fact that this ornament is stunning not only from the front ...
but from the back! Bravo, handpainted indents from Poland!
Best deer
Last year, blog reader Jennifer, in Maine, asked if I could choose a Best Deer ornament. I liked the idea a lot, but I didn't think I had any deer. I had forgotten this one, and it's a beauty! The judges, who have always been partial to panorama balls, were especially taken with the sparkly white glitter and the snowy night it evokes.
Best Bird
The Academy loves these birds. The Academy found several of these birds this year, and that made the Academy really happy. They come in different colors (there also are red and yellow birds on the tree, but in hard-to-photograph spots), and they're handy because they clip onto the top of a branch - just the thing to fill in awkward bare spots. Well done, little bird!
Best New Ornament of the Year
Is it a card? Is it an ornament? Is it a calendar? It's all three, and it's got one of the cutest puppies in the world popping through a horseshoe. And if that weren't enough to love: there's a complete calendar for 1936 attached, and 1936 is the year the Academy's founder's mother was born. No 1936, no Academy of Vintage Christmas Ornaments Arts and Sciences. This isn't just a cute ornament, according to the judges. If not for this ornament, or at least the year it represents, none of us would be here tonight.
Kind of gives you the shivers, doesn't it? It's like being present when history is made.
Well, we've come to our final award of the evening.
Best Christmas Ornament Reminiscent of a Joni Mitchell Song
A pair of doll-sized leather ice skates. Because your favorite album ever is "Blue." Because you spent the better part of your prime dating years pining after someone who was completely unavailable. Because you majored in English. Because secretly you're kind of happy when it's cold and drizzly outside. Because you find it a little annoying that the whole world loves Jane Austen now, and you loved her before they started turning all of her novels into movies.
Because your favorite Christmas song isn't a Christmas song at all but a break-up song:
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace ...
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on ...
And because you didn't even have to go to a lyrics web site to look up the words to Joni Mitchell's haunting "River" because they are Etched Into Your Soul.
OK, guilty on all counts. Love that song. Love those skates.
And even if that song doesn't exactly say "Merry Christmas," I will. Merry Christmas!
The deer ornament and the 1936 calendar; the year my dad was born. So if not for 1936, I wouldn't be here to attend the awards!
Posted by: Ruthann | December 19, 2011 at 08:09 PM
I love it! Are you sure the weeping didn't come from the House Speaker?
Brenda
Posted by: Brenda Kula-Pruitt | December 19, 2011 at 08:24 PM
I am so honored to be able to applaud the winners of this year's academy of ornaments! I must say that mushroom ornament really caught my eye! This is always fun. hugs, Linda
Posted by: Linda @ A La Carte | December 19, 2011 at 08:40 PM
Applause..Applause!!! We are happy with the recipients this year and are in full agreement with the judges! The deer is very precious indeed....as are they all! Happy holidays my friend! ♥
Posted by: Lavender Dreams | December 19, 2011 at 08:44 PM
Congratulations to all of the deserving winners. I'm not surprised that your original judges bailed on the show, and I think the ceremony was probably better for it.
If there were a "Best in Show" award, I would give it to the skates, being a Joni Mitchell and "Blue" fan myself, and also because they are just completely adorable. All the rest are so cute that I couldn't possibly rank them.
I can hardly believe it's over already, but there's always Christmas to look forward to.
Posted by: Martha | December 19, 2011 at 09:51 PM
You are too cute and my favorite Christmas song is not a Christmas son either. It's Snoopy Vs the Red Baron. Not "Christmas Bells" but the one sung just before that on the CD!! LOL! Merry Christmas! Your awards are perfect!
Posted by: Jenny Sellars | December 19, 2011 at 09:51 PM
Enjoying the ceremony greatly, but wishing for a few of those spritz cookies from the previous post to munch when I am not clapping. I am partial to that cute little good luck puppy and the milkglass Santa. A great group of winners this year.
Posted by: laurie magpie ethel | December 19, 2011 at 10:22 PM
Great show! BTW..."River" is one of my favorite songs, but only if song by Barry Manilow. Yes, Barry Manilow :)
Posted by: Ann | December 19, 2011 at 10:43 PM
This year's awards have been such an emotional rollercoaster. I laughed (elfin Newt), I cried (Joni's lyrics!) and I reflected on the meaning of life via a vintage puppy dog ornament.
Bravo, Academy, bravo.
Posted by: Into Vintage | December 19, 2011 at 10:48 PM
*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*
Bravo! Academy! Bravo!
Thank you, thank you for another excellent AOVCOA&S awards ceremony.
I concur with the judges. Thank you for the posting!
Posted by: Sharrieboberry | December 19, 2011 at 11:28 PM
What a star studded evening ! Congratulations to all of this year's winners and happy holidays to you Barbara !
Posted by: Lisa W. | December 19, 2011 at 11:30 PM
Loving the mushroom and bird ornaments. I am a fan of the clip ons myself, as they are excellent barespot hiders!
Thanks for sharing! :)
Posted by: Melissa's Antiques | December 20, 2011 at 10:58 AM
Sorry for the delay in my comment. I just got back from the Academy Vanity Fair and Elton John after-parties, and I'm exhausted from wearing my Louboutins all night! Dancing with Clooney was worth it though.....
Great awards ceremony Barbara. Something for everyone. Snarky opening monologue that would make Ricky Gervais proud, nostalgia courtesy of the sublime Joni Mitchell, and awards upsets that will keep the media buzzing for days. Can't wait for next year!
Posted by: Maria (Magia Mia) | December 20, 2011 at 01:36 PM
Thank you to the Academy, the gowns and costumes were particularly appealing this year! Bravo, well done!
Posted by: Sara | December 20, 2011 at 02:49 PM
Great post! Thank you for educating me on "panorama balls". I have one and love it and didn't know there was a name for ornaments like that. Now I know what to search on. Thank you!
Posted by: Kathy | December 20, 2011 at 03:14 PM
Wonderful, as always! I'm partial to the mushroom, myself.
Merry Christmas!
Posted by: Jenny G. | December 20, 2011 at 03:51 PM
...thunderous applause.....Bravo, Bravo!!! Thank you Academy!
Posted by: Patty | December 20, 2011 at 07:36 PM
This is THE blog post we look forward to all year, bar none. Excellent choices by the academy.
Posted by: Beth Leintz | December 20, 2011 at 07:36 PM
I'm still a little blinded by all the flash bulbs going off, but not so much that I didn't spot the mushroom! That was 'Best in Show' for me! Now can I eat it?
Merry Christmas to all!
p.s. I like the Crypt Keeper's Christmas songs!
Posted by: Kat | December 20, 2011 at 07:49 PM
How did you know J.M. lives in my CD player for the ending of Fall through the twilight of Winter? Love. love. love!!
"Blue, red, green and gold to welcome you
Crimson crystal beads to beckon..."
Posted by: svelteSTUFF | December 21, 2011 at 08:05 AM